"...i have been thinking a lot today about the need to possess. how do we love each other? is it a matter of remembering or a matter of forgetting?
i feel as if i have scraped my skin off the jambs of tight doors, sloughed off husks of selves and missed them so quickly, the way it feels to leave a body of water and feel the air -- in and out of light and dense fluids, amniotic and baptismal, metaphors and blah blah blah -- until i feel pinkish and naked as a fresh born runt who longs for the womb.
so how do we remember each other without clamping down hard on a fragile thing. squeeze a bird and impale your hand on its ribcage. squeeze a plum and scratch your hand's lifeline wrinkle on the meaty seed. we are resilient and fleshy and bruised now. love is a matter of memory, and memory is a matter of pain mostly. still, i love. i'm letting go. letting things balance precarious on the palm, pressured only by gravity, which is its own battle, and the same force that pulls the hand down and away. still, no collapse between each other, no vise."