on an intimate level

today i tried to connect to you on an intimate level and you left me feeling void.

i mean the sex was good, but that part about not wanting to cum because you are practicing tantric rituals was a little bit far fetch. you might has well told me you had to wash your hair.

in fact my deepest connection today was a fleeting one with a man who's eyes were so deep i felt myself drowning, loosing my breath, and not wanting to be save by anyone. And all he did was shake my hand.

i mean you had my dick in your mouth.

so what are the cosmos trying to teach me tonight? this night of a bright and full moon that has thrust my libido into overdrive and has me fucking myself with various sex toys. i'm not to sure...

i have tons of people who love me and who made large attempts to connect with me tonight. Thank you.

But in my lust, i mean sheer horniness i was searching for more tonight. Only forgetting that i had cam 1000 times today with one hand shake.

how fast i reload.

klm

Organization Is Key

2008 marks the year of transition.

we will all be affected by this movement of universal qi.
as i ride the wave of cosmic momentum, i'm trying to stay balance upon my board of life. my metaphor may be a little trite, but this is my blog so deal :)

no but for real, you feel that right.

i dont know if it was my last reiki attunement or something but i've been feeling crazy vibrational forces. as i manifest more art, more love, greater knowledge, and greater financial stability in the new year i need to find ways to keep myself organized and balanced.

i'm a lovemonster so i naturally want to wear as many hats as a can, but that ambition may come with the result of straining myself. that's not cool.

so, i'm allowing myself to take time for me. allowing myself to be selfish and relax and enjoy the beautiful southern californian sun. allowing myself to buy something pretty for its temperal affects of making me happy now.


on a side note,
i feel extremely blessed today.
i've had wonderful conversations with lovemonsters across the country.
and experienced love that was so fulfilling that it made today make complete sense.

thank you
michalovemonster
gennatladylove
laurenladylove
alexislovelady
dannylovemonster
loralovemonster
papalovemonster
alexloveladylove
ericlovelady

for making today so beautiful and bright
love
love
love

final thoughts on the year that is about to pass

yeah i mean it was good.

i live in southern california.
i have a beautiful roommate.
my best friends fly into town every other week.
i'm in graduate school.
i have a pretty rad job.
i made beautiful arting friends in socal.
i feel loved.
i am loved.
i'm a pornstar.

for these things i am greatful.

i love you lovemonsters of the world.
remember love is a revolution that will not be televised.
get out there and connect, art, love.

have a safe and healthy new year.

love
love
love
klm

G&T part deux

so,
i happy to know that commitment means something to you.
because if we were together i would want you to be honest with me.

i'm not going to wait for you.
despite the fact i think youre completely worth it.

i'll be your friend.
because i rather have you around then not around.

i love you.
i know it hasnt even been 24hours, but i'm a lovemonster.
we just know these things.


i morn tonight.
and tomorrow i move forward.

love
love
love

and ;;;;;;i'm not dr;unk. i'm fine.
love
love
lveo
you
love
monseter
cleo sauraus rex
L)

G&T

so, tonight over gin and tonics and bourbons and cokes i fall in love
yes, deeply in love with a man.

a muse, a musical man who composes heart feeling intensely dramatic drunken beautiful music for independent films and all you indie kids out there.

tonight i fall in love.
i trust him and his insainity.
his drunken banter is pure genius.

tonight i fall in love with a man who is deeply involved.
his partner is ever so sweet, attractive, intelligent, motivated, and probably even funny.

what do i do with this love?
it would never work out as strictly platonic.
i see him and i want to tear off his close after ever transcendental word he utters.

tonight i met my future partner.
god that was so gay.

i want to live in the french countryside with you on a vineyard type of love.
i want to know you in other lives type of love.
i want to hear you play to me early in the morning type of love.
i want to have intensely wild loud and long sessions of sex with you type of love.

your music sends chills up my spine down my arms and through my aorta pumping veins throughout my body.

lets run away together.
right now.
it's happening.
we've left and are together.
20 years have past and we laugh that no one has found us yet.


okay.

enough.

that was rant.
it's all true.
and i'll stop now.

love
klm

Coming Clean

I would like to start off this blog by saying sorry to all the beautiful nj and nyc lovemonsters i didn't get to see during my visit to the brutally cold east coast (yes it's true i've came and gone.)

It was really hard being on the east coast.
I had a little amount of time.
No transportation.
Became terribly sick.
Suffered from serious indigestion.
And I got tons of slack from the people I did see because I only saw them for like 5 mins (an exaggeration but you get it, right?)

So, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry a million times. I love you all so very much.

Now that that's out the way I can catch everyone up on my life in socal :)

A lot has been happening and I know long blogs are so boring so, i'll do quick bullet points of my crazy existence.

-Finals are over and I'm done with my first semester of Traditional Chinese Medicine School :)
-I became jealous for the first time in a long time over a boy. That didn't feel to good, but it help me realize that as a lovemonster i need to give other people room to explore their lovemonsterness (and i guess i've always known that it just escaped me for a bit.)
-I refuse to take shit from people who are having a bad day/life (especially at work.) I'll show everyone love, but I refuse to let people walk all over me. So, feel your pain and get over it :) love.
-I've been receiving mad love from the cool cats here in socal. thank you to everyone for making my transition into becoming Californian easier.
-I'm taking my art in new directions ;) Details to come.
-I'm working on my latest zine, but have recently decided to change directions with it. I realize that because I have a queer body and I do everything from love my zine will naturally be queer and loving :) So, F structure and order. This next zine is going to be super queer and fun.
-I'm super stoked to dog sit during break
-I'm super stoked to see my best friend during break
-and i've yet to establish any real new years planes and i'm okay with that

Okay,
if you've made it this far thank you.
i'll stop now.

love
love
love

klm

Overwhelmed in December, not really

Adapting in this foreign land of socal has been an experience.

Six Months have gone by and i find myself slowly assimilating into san diego culture.

i move slower.
consume more.
have cold aversions.
and respond surprisingly well to stress.

things i love:
socal lovemonsters
partying in socal
getting dressed in vintage clothing
east asian medicine
making art
socal boys
the sun

in this land of beauty, sun, and consumption there is also disharmony.

things that sadden me:
the number of homeless people in socal
the consumption
my addiction to consumption
being away from my family
fickle socal boys
over cast days

as i sit in a beautiful cafe sipping on my 4 dollar soy mocha latte typing away on my white mac surrounded with east asian books sitting on a comfortable chair in my vintage clothing i reflect on how i became this.

i'm still a lovemonster.
i'm still an artist.
i still search for community and love.

i started to settle into my apartment, despite the fact i will probably move out of it in six months. i decided to live in it as though i will be there for an extended period of time.

i started to fall out of love with some people and decided thats okay.

i started to trust my opinion more.

overwhelmed in december, not really

love
klm